A few months ago, I wrote an article about 20 birth affirmations for Anxious Moms. Birth affirmations, which are positive statements and beliefs used by expectant mothers to prepare for labor and delivery, have become a popular trend in recent years. While they are intended to promote confidence, relaxation, and empowerment, they can also cause problems and create unrealistic expectations.
I recently come across stories where moms in labor refuse to get a C-section during a difficult birth, clinging to the belief that their bodies can do it, when in fact sometimes our bodies just refuse to corporate with our strength and willpower.
I for one, am a huge fan of birth affirmations and I used them extensively during my last pregnancy since I knew that my husband would not be able to make it to our third child’s birth. However, I have to warn about relying too much on birth affirmations to take us through natural birth.
Problems with Birth Affirmations
First, birth affirmations can set mothers up for disappointment and feelings of failure if the birth does not go as planned. Many affirmations focus on having a natural birth without interventions, but in reality, many births require medical intervention for the safety of the mother and baby. When things do not go according to the affirmations, it can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and disappointment.
Second, birth affirmations can also create pressure and unrealistic expectations for mothers. They often promote the idea that a woman should be able to control the outcome of her birth and that if she believes strongly enough, she will have a perfect birth. This can lead to disappointment when the birth process is not easy, pain-free, or straightforward, and can contribute to a sense of failure and self-doubt.
Third, birth affirmations can be exclusionary, as they often focus on a one-size-fits-all approach to birth. They do not take into account the diverse experiences and challenges faced by different women, including those with disabilities, chronic health conditions, or previous traumatic births. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and disconnection from the birth experience.
So, while birth affirmations can have positive effects on a woman’s emotional well-being, they can also cause problems. Expectant mothers should be mindful of the limitations and potential downsides of birth affirmations and not put too much pressure on themselves to have the “perfect” birth. It’s important to remember that every birth experience is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to give birth. Seeking support from a trusted provider, doula, or support group can help women feel more confident and empowered during the birth process.
